The Single Female Traveller: Some Tips

So vacation is in the air. I am an infamous solo traveller. Not because I am anti-social or anything but clearly I have different interests to my closest friends, not to mention a whole different lifestyle. So while I can, on a vaps, book a plane ticket and jet off to Miami for the weekend, cause I have no chick, no child to worry about. some of my other friends would need to do some planning in order to do so. And apparently this makes me an Alpha-Female. Who comes up with these terms? A man, nah?

In any event, I am not alone. Women the world over travel alone, and if their mothers are anything like mine, they are nagged from the moment the idea of another solo vacation is broached until the plane touches down on their home soil once more.

How could you travel alone? Is that safe? You don't even know the place.

Yes. It never ends. But as a solo pro, these are the tips that work for me

1. Let the family know WHERE you going and HOW to find you. Leave all the details with them - flight information, hotel information, hotel number, when you check in, send the hotel room number etc. Make sure people back home always know where you're going and how you're getting there.

2. Don't trust the warm smiles of hotel staff. I am sorry. Hotel staff are great and friendly and all, but they aren't really to be trusted. I don't know you so you bet my luggage remains locked and I always try to book a room where I know there is a room safe, or at least access to a safe somewhere. This leads me to my next point ...

3. Don't put your cheapness over your safety and peace of mind. This is the problem I am having trying to go where I really wanna go, but I am going over my budget and if I am going over my very tight budget, I just won't compromise. I have seen a whole heap of cheapo hotels that would do nicely on paper when it comes to the dollars and cents, but not when it comes to solo female traveller SENSE. Don't do cheap if the place is not secure, if the location is seedy, if the reviews point to shady staff or shady neighbourhood characters. If you are going to save money on one thing when planning a vacation, it's NOT THIS. Find a proper hotel, in a good busy area - in my case, I tend to stick with chain hotels, so I am a well known Hilton, Hyatt and Marriott patron. Small Seas Inn and that type of local, unchartered waters stuff is not my bag. Ladies, there are predators out there, so don't take chances.

4. Know you area. In fact, RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH. I was anal when planning my trip to Paris. I wanted to know where the bus stops were, where to get a train, what restaurants were nearby. Don't take this type of stuff for granted. Know where the nearest police station, hospital and your local embassy or high commission are. Don't just arrive and be like a headless chicken in a strange city. Please. Be responsible now.

5. Travel safely. I don't take night flights if I am travelling to a country where I know noone or noone I know is there to pick me up. Don't stay out late if you're alone - travel by taxi, bus, train etc late at night, in a place you don't know - not too smart. On my recent trip to NY, did I dare try the subway? No. I am not THAT adventurous. Also, take registered taxis. While they may not be called "PH" in other parts of the world, there will always be someone looking to hustle a trip without proper cause.

6. Flattery will get you nowhere, buddy. And yes, vacations are supposed to be fun and you let go of your inhibitions and you live by "What happens in Vegas (or wherever), stays in Vegas (or wherever)". But not because the cute native on the sidewalk, looks nice, smells nice, talks nice mean he's nice. Just smile, nod and keep moving. There are a lot of wolves out there and you're the prey!

7. Bridge the language barrier. If you don't know the language where you are, besides learning some key phrases, try to take group tours where you are not as exposed to the local criminal elements. But we spoke about trying to learn the language already, right?

8. Check in with the home peeps regularly. Roaming is expensive and so are calls from hotel rooms but send a text or an email and do the occasional phone call to the people back home to let them know you are okay. It will not kill you to make that 30 second phone call, because if that doesn't kill you, then the worried mother sitting back home, wringing her hands over the whereabouts of her girl chile, will.

9. Try to card it, and not cash it. This is a given for anyone travelling. Take small amounts of cash for emergencies, but generally I use my credit card when on the lam. And let your bank know you will be travelling as well, because you don't want when you try paying for the nice dress your card is cancelled because your bank noticed "irregular activity". They do this. I always call my bank before and let them know my dates so I can shop in peace. Also, keep your bank's emergency card numbers in case your card is lost or stolen so they can then cancel said card...this is the time to have it cancelled. Not when you trying to pay for stuff.

10. Low Fat Dressing for the salad. And while we want to look nice and seck-see, you have to have some sense about your dress code. Don't take the bling with you, ladies. Oh gosh. Try not to draw too much attention to yourselves. Yes, we want to look hot, but we don't want to be the hot target either.

11. Guard your valuables and be mindful of your surroundings. I always think the man walking behind me is a thief, even at home. So much so that one time as I grabbed my purse tighter, the man said to me in passing "Darling, I doh want your purse you know." I did not know that for sure. Don't be laissez-faire with the valuables - the purse, the netbooks, the cameras. And look around you and check out your fellow pedestrians and travellers. You might be the hot tourist attraction of the moment. You and your bag of goodies.

These are just a few tips and as I nixed my Spanish speaking vacation for an English speaking one, shared with family this time around (aka free, thus freeing up funds for my Italian speaking vacation next year...woot!), I thought I would still share my solo pro knowledge with the world.

Following the Commonwealth thread

I am impressed with the social media coverage of the CHOGM-related events thus far. True I have been at the Commonwealth Business Forum the past couple days so maybe have a greater interest than most, but I barely read a newspaper these days and it is unlikely that I would know what's happening in the world if I did not have access to the internet. The tweets and the Facebook updates are commendable and hopefully more of the Generation Y-ers and the internet aficionados will have a better understanding about some of the issues which will  be discussed. It opens the door somewhat, but of course there will always be unanswered questions where things like CHOGM, how it affects us as a society, the ROI on our hundreds of millions of dollars in investment to host the event etc etc etc.

But all I came to say is good job on the currency of the information and the socially appropriate delivery. You can follow CHOGM on Twitter @chogm2009 and they are also on Facebook, and of course their website, http://www.chogm2009.org/.

Honest Communication

The Commonwealth Business Forum,, the business and investment sub-meeting of CHOGM, is underway from today. And though I am sure you would love dull commentary on same, since I will spend part of the next couple days on the outside looking in, I thought I would not. lol. Instead, my grouse today lies in 3 words on a sticker.


No Hand Signals.

That was the bumper sticker on the taxi in front of me. He clearly meant to indicate to those behind him that he would not stretching his arm out the window, for fear it get lick off by another motorist's machine, just to tell you, the driver behind his car, that he is stopping or slowing down. I also take this to mean that he will be replacing the archaic hand signal with the more technologically and socially acceptable indicator light.

SILLY ME.

Not only does he not do the bird flap (you know, when they are slowing down, they wave the arm up and down like a crazed pigeon and this serves as notification that you should touch your brakes), but his brake lights clearly were not working, so your guess is as  good as mine from 50 m away that this fool has actually slowed down. He does not indicate he is turning left or right, so you can only guess.

No Hand Signals.

The bumper sticker is extremely disrespectful as far as I am concerned cause you are basically telling me that you don't care whether I have to hastily pull up behind you as you ply your trade. And I respect you plying your trade cause many an afternoon came when I needed you or your fellow taxi drivers to take me home. But NO HAND SIGNALS is not cool, friend. In actuality the sign should say

NO HAND SIGNALS. NO INDICATOR. NO CONSIDERATION.

I would allow you that cause at least it would be honest communication.

So High

This was an inevitable share, wasn't it? My favourite John Legend song ever, and when he performs it live, it just takes my breath away. I thought perhaps I would have done some baking today but the bug never quite took over. But it's an easy evening with good music and a Hi-Lo cream cone.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

The Big "O"

And indeed, a lot of you saw the title and rushed over cause I know what you were thinking this entry was about, you sad perverts. lol

But no, I am referring to Oprah. Indeed she is the biggest "O" I know. Oprah is not just a woman. Oprah is not just a name. Oprah is a brand. This woman has taken what her mama gave her and created a brand unrivalled and probably unmatched by any other brand out there. I don't think there is any credible person in the world today who has never heard about Oprah Winfrey. And whether you idolise her for her 23 years on television, her foray into film acting, her philanthrophy, her unique Oprah-ness, you will agree that this woman has made and left an indelible mark on the world. And whether you know her because of the aforementioned, her yo-yo weight issues, for Stedman (poor fella), her huge heart, her emotional outbursts, we all know Lady O. And in some small way, we all admire, respect and love the Big O.

Oprah announcing the end of her show in 2011 is the end of an era. What was the world like B.O. - Before Oprah. Before this force of nature took over the world, what on earth did we do? We sat around and watched shows with mainstream, middle of the road tv hosts, who I guess in their own way, did their bit for the media landscape. But this little black girl, from the South, challenged the middle of the road media and managed to not just enter the homes on the other side of the road, but she took over the whole damn highway and that is power. Oprah's power lies in the way she has managed to breach so many boundaries as a woman, a black woman, an average looking woman - cause let's face it, she ain't no Miss America and many times it's the pageant-ness that gets you through the door first, and the talent later.

Oprah opened the doors for so many after her. Someone had wrote that while Barack Obama paved the way for black leaders to seize the mantle of power in America, Oprah had paved the way for Barack Obama and as she stood crying at his inauguaration, it was almost like the passing of the torch.

But she has not gone just yet and though I myself have not watched an episode of the show in ages, I know Oprah's legacy is a rich one that goes way beyond American culture. Oprah is a global citizen and we have cried with Miss Oprah and laughed with Oprah and cheered with Oprah. It really is odd to think about tv without her. But the amazing thing about it is, she will still be there even after her show cause her brand is far reaching and you just cannot get rid of the Big O. No way, man.

Is your piggy bank blinging or broke?

So recently I have been looking at the expensive as hell properties here, and commented to a male friend that the single woman was seemingly put here to suffer. He suggested that I could marry him, and pay half his mortgage. A good suggestion perhaps, but I told him I would still need to find my own place for the day he decides to put me out. He thought my suggestion was funny and asked if I intended to do something wrong to warrant getting put out. But this is a very real prospect and what happens next?

Fifty years ago, women would probably wait for the knight in shining armour to ride in on his white horse and rescue them from clinical things like savings and money and investing. Today, with more and more women ticking the "Single" box on application forms, this is not an option. Any woman who sits around all day waiting for Mr "Right on Time" to swoop in with his financial know-how is an idiot. I think the days of women not being financially savvy are long gone and if you intend to survive singledom, because hey, let's face it, there is no guarantee that this man will EVER come along, then you need to start being sensible and practical about money.

I give people financial tips all day as part of what I do and where I do it. I am the first to admit that I don't know about everything and don't do everything I send messages about, but I do have my finger on my financial pulse. I am no Warren Buffett but hey...you have to know something about money, ladies. Oh gosh. These are the basics and you would not believe how many women have no clue about any of these in this day and age.

• Savings accounts - Short term savings. Vacations, bills, floating cash, car repairs. I mean everyone should have one, right? Right? And have an emergency savings fund - an account you don't touch, with at least 6months salary in there, so if the worst happens, you have something to fall back on to cover expenses. Unemployment for example should not send you to the street corner with a pan and a bell.
  
• Mutual funds - For long term investments and convenient if you don't know a whole lot about the stock market. Start reading up on the different types of mutual funds wherever you are and assess your risk profile and your time horizon. If you are one of those who have sweaty nightmares about losing all your money, then certain funds may not be for you. But if you have cajones and can take stress, look at some more aggressive funds. If you are looking at short term goals, read up on the funds which may work better for these. But don't make the mistake of believing that you need a man to make these decisions. You don't.
  
• Have you just come back from a vacation with some left over foreign currency? Some institutions offer certificates of deposit in various currencies. Or look at mutual funds as well. I came back from London with a wad of the queen's money that I did not want to necessarily convert or hide under my mattress. My bank offered CDs in GBP and I looked into socking that money away for the short term until I was ready to go back and spend it! lol
  
• Insurance/pension plans - Insurance people may be annoying but don't lock up your house and hide from them forever. You could learn a thing or two from them and maybe then you can make a decision about which of their products is right for your future.
  
• Know your financial planner. Let's face it, finance is not always (never) sexy and you will need stuff explained to you, so get to know your personal financial planner. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Get second opinions too. It's your financial health you're talking about. This could be the difference between you having that awesome vacation in 2010 or renting DVDs and sitting on your couch with popcorn for 2 weeks.
  
• Be prudent in your spending. Unless you have a sugar daddy (I wish!) or rich parents who spoil you even at age 30 (I wish!), chances are you are taking on the burden of your living expenses by yourself. So do you really need that Nine West handbag this month, when the plumbing needs fixing next week? Noone is saying you cannot treat yourself and be single and fabulous and oh so Sex and the City, but be responsible.
  
• Look at other investment avenues eg. property investments. Learn from those who have already done it and start looking at options. Read, ask questions, research.
  
• And talk to your other friends about money and how they are saving. Chances are, they may know things you don't and vice versa. But be empowered when it comes to your money. Take some risks and take some action. Don't just spend it!
  
• And look at how you spend your money. Seriously. I wish I could drink Rituals mochaccinos every single day, but that $20 multiplied by 5, multiplied by 52. $5200 a year in coffee? Seriously? Have you thought how buying lunch every day or buying that sada roti every day can add up, as opposed to cooking a lil something once in a while? I have cut back on my -ccino fix for diet reasons but still, Hi-Lo has various coffees you can invest in and you get more than the single cup you would get at Rituals. I grew up constantly hearing from both my parents, "Doh let no man buss style on you" and that rings true. I buy what I want when I want it, go where I want when I want to, but everything in moderation. 

And even if I do get that elusive sugar daddy (and I have the t-shirt to prove that this hunt is real), I don't plan to give up my financial independence cause in this day and age, you have to keep worst case scenario in mind because when daddy leaves, where does that leave you if you're not in control of your own money?

Not a nice thought is it? And don't think you cannot ask a man about these things, cause this is not a man hater kinda post, but just saying, you don't have to sit at the window waiting for one to depend on.

C'est vrai! You're rude.

I started learning Italian last year when I had planned to vacation in Venice. Plans changed and my eventual 2008 belated vacation was an English-speaking one, but even then, as the old saying goes "Some people just don't understand English." This is true in daily life cause clearly what I say and what others hear are completely different. Like when I say yesterday, "This is needed urgently", the other person hears "It's not urgent. You can idle all day and have me wait for it until I ask for the thousandth time."

But I digress. I wanted to know enough Italian to get by and not make a fool of myself and also to be polite and not looked at with derision.

A couple people in the past few months asked me for some tips for their Parisien vacations, and I always tell them, Please please please, try to speak the people's language, if even a little.

The French are known to be a bit snobby, though in my experience, it was not necessarily so. But hear me out. If English speakers came to your French-speaking city and expected and demanded you speak English, which may not even be your second language, but maybe your third or fourth, you would not be a little annoyed as well? I mean, I think the Americans are the worst with this, because the world revolves around the land mass that is the USA. One American on a tour even remarked that the place was so "European", as if it were expected to be more American perhaps. But seriously, I don't blame the French for being a little uppity when someone comes into a cafe or a shop and goes "English? You speak English?" I find it a bit rude and people don't think about how this may come across. It is disrespectful and I would not blame anyone who pretended their perfectly good English were nonexistent in response to this rudeness.

I read in my guidebooks and found for myself, that when you attempted to speak French, often failing miserably, they made the effort to be polite and speak in English. The people can be extremely personable (they were to me). I went up to them and spoke to them in French, albeit not so good French, and recognising my shortcomings, they helped me out in English. It's a win-win. They say communication is two-way and indeed it is. But many people always want it their way or no way. I did not meet many people in Paris who did not speak English, but if they look at YOU with a blank stare and say "Non. Ne parles pas anglais", then ask yourself, "Is it me" and then say "Oui. C'est moi."

It's the same way Trinis, notoriously rapid speakers, know to slow it down when speaking to non-Trinis, and though we laugh at tourists trying to pronounce words like "macco", "farse", "lime" and "jammette" (yes!), we appreciate them trying, don't we? This is not that much different. So my advice to anyone heading to a foreign locale for vacation is, learn some basics and help yourself and respect others.

• Hello/Goodbye
• Good Morning/afternoon/evening/night
• My (language) is not that good. Can you help me? Do you speak English?
• Please/Thank You
• Where are the hot boys?

Essentials I tell you. Essentials! In the meantime, December 2009 will likely be a stay at home vacation where English is spoken or nothing is said at all. My Italian lessons will resume in 2010 as I hopefully prepare for Rome. Ciao!